I haven’t posted since I left Castlewood. Weird to think
that was April 2nd.
Life has been a whirlwind these past two months. Having periods where
I’m back in the depths of my disease thinking there was no way out but death to
periods where I’m truly experiencing joy and standing firm in my recovery. I
haven’t told really anyone about either of these swings of emotion, but I
thought I should put it out there. To remind people that going back to
treatment does not mean you come out fixed and happy. Life is still hard and
I’ve had to swallow my pride and ask for help. Help with the meals and
sometimes help to just get through the night.
The last 2 months I have learned and gotten to experience so
much through these highs and lows. I have been reconnected with old friends who
have never stopped praying that I’d make it out on the other side. I’ve seen
friends whom I knew in their lowest of lows experience the most magical days of
their life. I’ve figured out what I want to do for a career and was offered an internship
in that very thing. I’ve cut people out of my life who have treated me
horribly, now knowing I deserve better.
The work I have ahead of me is a lot and can be downright
daunting but I’m excited to see what the future has in store. Recovery will continue
to be an everyday battle but with the people I have by my side, I know I can
get through anything.
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